Med School Husband

My wife and I have been married exactly 6 months yesterday. Thank you, yes I know we’ve already lasted longer than most Hollywood “marriages”. I know that some people scoff at the idea of celebrating a 6 month anniversary, but that is neither here nor there. It seems to me like a good point to assess where I am at in relation to vocation-as-calling.

Being married 6 months has given me some idea of what role family life will play in the big picture when I think about my life’s calling. If I were to define vocation right now and define it 20 years from now it may change dramatically. But as I see it today, a vital part of my idea of vocation has to include family. I contend that vocation is not only your career, but also all the other aspects of your life in which you are called by God in one way or another. I personally consider my marriage the most successful thing I’ve done that God has called me to do. It has been the easiest choice I’ve ever made, with no hesitation that it was the wrong thing for me to do. Conversely, finding a career has been the hardest aspect of discerning my vocation-as-calling. Right now in my life; my marriage, my wife, and her happiness and success take priority over my career search. This is not a noble thing or even a negative thing in regards to my personal development as an individual finding his way in the world. It is simply where I feel God is calling me to focus my energies and it is the most prominent aspect of my “vocation” at this time.

Part of my definition of vocation includes the phrase, “Who I Am.” So who I am includes my job, my leisure activities, and everything in between. But if I had to pick the one thing that defines me right now it would be, without a doubt, my relationship with my wife. I know God is calling me to be supportive of her as she ventures through medical school. I know God is calling me to do things that “normal” husbands may not have to do. A sacrifice, some might say, but I see these things as essential to my wife’s success. During these short 6 months that we’ve been married, I’ve learned that her success is my success. When she is sad, I’m sad. I am going through medical school in a manner of speaking. I’ve begun to get a clearer understanding of the idea that “two become one” when you get married. You truly do experience what your spouse experiences. You may be separate people but your togetherness is much deeper and stronger than your individuality.

Trying to define “who I am” is a difficult task. But I know that at least a part of the puzzle that comprises my vocation is 6 months old and that gives me hope for the rest of “me”.