Vocation as calling?! Now I get it! (Part Two)

Before my experience, I loved doing service and I always felt at peace with myself and with God during those times. Now, I am continuously unhappy with myself and my lifestyle because I am not constantly surrounded by like-minded people who understand Jesus' message, the Jesuits' value of preferential option for the poor, or the importance and sacredness of community. I am not dedicated to an impoverished family nor am I completely committed to a service organization where I visit for multiple hours every week. Not only does this sadden me, but it also hurts.

St. Ignatius spoke of "consolation of spirits" where typical worldly desires may make you content for awhile but eventually leave you feeling empty and unsatisfied, whereas spirituality and service to the poor leaves you feeling consoled. How does this make sense? Aren't earthly pleasures supposed to make us happy? Money, sex, possessions, and success are all part of the living the dream, right? From the teachings of Jesus, the work of Ignatius, and what I experienced in the DR, the answer is no. Immersing one's self in poverty, hardships, and violence may be scary, but that is where one experiences true consolation and that is what I believe is demanded of us as Christians.

Jesus' message constantly spoke of the importance of his followers' dedication to the poor. He was always causing chaos among authorities and acting in opposition to societal norms. What makes us think that it is best to flow along with authority or society? Why do we hold Jesus in such high regard, yet we don't outright challenge the daily wrongs of American culture beyond bumper stickers on our cars and voting for candidates who are against abortion? Our country has a long history of unjust actions and continues to head down the straight and narrow pathway. My DR experience forces me to open my eyes to the reality of this country and demands that I maintain an active faith, a faith that is clearly visible through service to those who are hurting. My hope is that we all continue to question decisions and grow in living faith.

I know that this is an intense blog, and I debated posting it. However, one of my best friends reminded me of the importance of making people think. I felt regret on many occasions where I had the opportunity to share more significant aspects of my experience than I actually did. So I am taking advantage of this blog to share my thoughts. I hope that it encourages new thoughts rather than frightens.